Opie
“Why
Ope, we best be headin’ back to tha house son so we can watch NASA broadcast
their moon landin’ oun tha vacuum tyube television.”
“Paw,
do you really think that they’re actually goin’ to the moon? I understand
that the moon is a very hostile place for mankind! Also, since the Earth
is fixed, the moon is orbiting at enormous
speeds! And, and what about those Van Allen radiation belts? The lunar module is
only made from twelve-thousandths thick aluminum, and it has to be pumped up at 5 psi and
then subjected to the super extreme vacuum of the moon!! And not to mention that
reentry turns space debris into vapor at hypersonic due to frictional
temperatures hotter than the sun!! Gee Paw, the scientific
and engineering problems with flying to the moon are really, really, really
big! And
we’re still in the sixties!”
“Awe c’mon there Ope, your soundin’ a lil’ un-American ta doubt the moon landin’s! Let’s reel-in and head home before we miss tha show…”
“Hmm,
I gotta idea… Maybe one day, when I’m all grown up, I’ll make a movie
about Apollo!... I’ll throw in all of the technical and scientific issues as
little innuendos, and see if anybody catches
them! Yeah, that will be cool!…
It’ll be like doing a fake of a fake… and getting away with it! Why
gosh I’ll, I’ll even do my own Special
Effects…. and they’ll be even better than NASA’s!... Maybe I'll
even win some kind of movie award!
Gee, that sure would be swell…”
“Hey
Aint Bee... Ope here thanks that NASA didn’t really go to tha moon! He also
thanks tha Earth don’t even spin oun
an axis just like the diagram shows in
his school science book. Whaddaya thank of this here rascal
Aint Bee? Maybe I oudda take ‘em down to tha station
and lock ‘em up with Otis for a bit so he can study his science book
until he begins ta see thangs straight
again…”
“Why
Opie you silly boy. You best run along
and study your science book young man!
If you disagree with what your science teacher says, you’ll certainly receive
a bad mark in school. Now finish your
apple pie and go to your room and read that school book very carefully Opie
Taylor.”
“Aint
Bee! NASA pulled a fast one on
everybody! The earth is fixed like the
Bible says! The moon orbits east to west,
but, but they say it goes the other way!...
And, and look at these pictures of Neil and Buzz! Golly, I can make better
pictures with a home-made shoe box
camera!... I’m tellin’ ya Aint Bee, it just aint true…
And I bet the Soviets are in on it too!...It’s a global Hollywood-type
production!!! ... I just know it…
“Hey
Andeee…. Yo boaaa Opie told me tha Earth aint spinnin’ oun an
axis…. He needs ta look at tha diagram
in his science book …. Cuz I’m tellin’ ya…. ta me everythang izz spinnin’
Andeee….. even this here jail cell feels like it’s a twirlin’
‘round….. I can feel it for
sure…. Those scientists are right
Andeee…. Evrythang izz spinnin’….. spinnin’ and a spinnin’ and
a spinnin’….. whew weee Andeee…. I thank I best take a seat here ‘n sleep
off this spinnin’ feelin’….. Wake me up Andeee after everythang
stops a spinnin’….”
'How-to' Create a Martian Landscape