"Myth" Busters
The Myth Busters claim to have "busted" the lunar landing conspiracy theories...
"Hey Jamie, which scientific and engineering issues should we address on our show 'busting' the moon hoax crazies?"
"Well Adam, since we are being funded by NASA for our TeeVee show, we must steer away from true science and engineering and stick with wimpy, irrelevant issues like shadows, boot prints, waving flags, and the like... Oh, and we can even go to an observatory sponsored by NASA to show us a computer simulation of a laser beam hitting a retro-reflector gadget left on the 'moon' by the Apollo teams back in the early seventies... Never mind we'd be busted by the speed of the moon's east-to-west orbit and the light beam spreading through the atmosphere botching the experiment, but the computer will fix all that..."
"Hey man, I'm down with that non-scientific stuff.... Yeah, we'd really be toast if we try to test that the moon travels west-to-east, when it orbits the earth EAST-to-WEST every day in 24 hours and 50 minutes.... Wa... wait a minute... ...DANG Jamie!... How the heck did they land on the moon if it's...it's traveling in the neighborhood of Mach 82! ...Why we'd... we'd be pooh-poohed BIG-TIME!!!..."
"Oh yeah, nooo doubt there my goofball ally... The junk heliocentric myth is bunk big-time for sure... Not to mention the fact that ALL experiments failed to demonstrate that the earth moves in space... Voodoo 'science' is best... It's hard to bust backward 'science' Adam..."
"Hey I know, we can demonstrate the towering capabilities of the Lunar Excursion Module that successfully landed on the moon six times with completely different teams each run!... Busted weak-minded, YEC, 'no-earth-moving' moon hoaxters..."
"Adam, you mean the pathetic engineering joke called Mr. LEM? Why even the guy at Grummen that engineered that goofy thing said its pressure hull was made of aluminum only equal to three foil thickness of Reynolds Wrap. Yeah man, that tin-can wouldn't even hold the required pressure to sustain life, needless to say inside Ultra-High Vacuum conditions... Hey, Armstrong even had to bail out of a test flight of that contraption before he lost control and the thing exploded back in '68... Lets not try to bust that one..."
"Hey, I gotta idea Jamie... Lets test the piano-wire tires of the moon car, and drive it inside a plane doing parabolic maneuvers simulating 1/6th gravity... We can see if those wiry tires actually inflate! That would certainly put an end to moon hoax crazies making fun of the moon rod... Busted conspiracy theorists, the moon car rocks..."
"Bad idea Adam. The moon car does not even leave tracks in moon dirt..."
"Well, what about radiation Jamie?... Do... do you think the sun's radiation is real or just a bunch of baloney?"
"Radiation smadiation Adam. There is no such thing as solar radiation. I can lay out in the sun all day long and not even get a burn. The astronots didn't have any radiation protection in the walls of Mr. LEM or their space suits.... No need for that stupid stuff in filming conditions man... we'd be seriously busted on that one... Besides, they had the Buddy System on the moon..."
"Jamie, dude, since I have a space suit on, you can put ME inside a vacuum chamber, crank it down waaay past UHV phenomenon, throw in mega radiation and intense heat, and I'll play around in there for hours! That'll show those moon conspiracy crazies its no big deal to hop around on the moon... And besides, NASA sent over a dozen astronots to the moon 40 years ago... Easy-as-pie Jamie.... Busted moon hoaxters...."
"Adam, I am NOT hosing you off the walls of the vacuum chamber after you inflate like the Michelin Man and explode like a grenade... Are you crazy? Forget it... You'll end up looking like a plate of spaghetti and meatballs... NASA didn't risk it, and neither are we man... You'd definitely end up, well, literally busted on that test... Boot prints man, lets stick to testing boot prints in moon dirt..."
"Hey I got it... 100% oxygen dude... NASA always used 100% oxygen in the Command Module, Mr. LEM and their space suits... lets show the crazed moon hoaxies that 100% oxygen is not dangerous..."
"Adam, since you have the same name as the first man on earth, I guess you're as gullible as he was... Dude, 100% oxygen is 100% dangerous 100% of the time... busted Adam... waving flag... let's stick to the waving flag..."
"Hey, what about the cool space capsules! We can show the moon hoax folks that the space capsules were able to go through the atmosphere at 25,000 mph without burning up like a meteor, and 'land' with parachutes! The 'heat shield' that was made up of reinforced plastic over the stainless honeycomb sure did the trick Jamie. Big-time busted NASA nay-sayers... Anything can survive a fiery hypersonic, 7 miles-per-second reentry..."
"Adam, dude, it's a scientific fact that reentering the Earth's atmosphere at these velocities causes instant vaporization due to temps hotter than the sun... Besides dude, the likelihood of NASA actually 'blasting-off' from the moon, and then hitting the exact reentry angle, is about as likely as me teeing off from the moon and making a hole-in-one at Pebble, just like Gene Cernan said. In other words dude, impossible. Let's scrub that idea..."
Courtesy National Geographic
"Well, since I'm running out of moon myths to test, what about Plate Tectonics? We'll demonstrate how continents bash and crash into each other! That would be cool to test Plate Tectonics, its the best... The USGS and NASA have it all worked out with Plate Tectonics... The earth is billions of years old and man came from monkeys... Busted young-Earth moon crazies."
"Adam, NO monkeying around with make-believe science man... Besides, some crazed Bible-believing architect has already debunked the goofy Plate Tectonic theory big-time... Man I wish the sea-floor was 'spreading', but dude, it was compressed or something.... Lets stick to non-scientific space junk or else we'll get busted trying to prove the dopey Plate Tectonic theory..."
"Gee-wiz, I feel so much better about steering away from the real scientific and engineering issues and sticking to the wimpy stuff Jamie. Golly, if we had to deal with real science, our show would look like slap stick!... We, like our buddies at NASA , can continue to put out a bunch of baloney space junk propaganda, and play on the ignorance of the general public.... Lets just stick to the script... People believe everything we bust on TeeVee... I just love my TeeVee job Jamie... "
"So did Opie Taylor Adam..."
"There is a sucker born every minute." PT Barnum
"Myth" Busters... you're busted.
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